I spent over a decade of marriage hating sex. Now I help others
change that story.

I grew up just north of Salt Lake City as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My home was strong, loving, and functional in almost every way. Sex just wasn’t something we talked about. At all.

As a teenager I felt enormous shame about my own sexual thoughts and feelings. I assumed that was just what being a “good girl” meant. When I got married after my freshman year at BYU, I carried all of that shame in with me, and sex became something I endured. I did it to get him off my back for a while. I got nothing from it. I felt used, resentful, and quietly convinced something was wrong with me.

After twelve years and three children, my marriage was in serious trouble. I thought maybe if I could fix our sex life, I could fix the marriage. So I started learning everything I could, despite the shame I still felt about even looking into it.

What I found stopped me cold. I didn’t have a sex problem. I had a belief problem. I had spent my entire life absorbing messages that told me my desire didn’t matter, my pleasure wasn’t the point, and that wanting sex too much meant something was wrong with me. Those beliefs had quietly shaped every intimate moment I’d ever had.

My first marriage ended in divorce. But through that process, I became someone different. I started to understand my own body, my own desire, my own worth. I stopped performing and started actually showing up.

In 2012, I married Kevin. We have a genuinely great marriage, a sex life I actually love, and five kids between us who range from their teens to their mid-twenties. I have been studying sex, marriage, and the psychology of desire since 2010, and coaching individuals and couples since 2018.

I do this work because I know what it costs to stay silent and stuck. And I know what becomes possible when someone finally gives you the right tools.