RESOURCES
Things I actually use and recommend.
Free downloads, books, apps, products, and courses that support the work of building a better relationship with yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality. Everything here is personally vetted. Use your own judgment on what is right for you.
FREE DOWNLOADS | BOOKS | APPS | LINGERIE | LUBRICANT | TOYS | ORAL SEX | NOVELTIES | BOOKS FOR THE MOOD | COURSES
Free Downloads
Roadmap to Pleasure
A guided list to help you rediscover how you like to be touched. Most adults have lost this knowledge over time. This helps you find it again.
Yes/No/Maybe List
A list of things to try, rated by how much you want to explore them. Share with your spouse and see where your answers overlap. Come back to it over time as your answers may change.
16 Ways to Say No
The only time to say yes to sex is when you genuinely want to. But how you say no matters. These 16 ways protect the relationship while honoring yourself.
How Healthy Are You and Your Marraige?
A great sex life is built on a healthy you and a healthy marriage. This quick quiz shows you which one is helping and which one might be holding you back, then sends you a free guide with simple steps you can start this week. It takes about five minutes and works for both men and women.
The Sexual Self Snapshot
Find out what fuels your desire, what shuts it down, and how you show up in sex. Answer 18 quick questions, see your results right away, and get three free guides with practical ways to use what you learn. Take it on your own, or have your spouse take it too and compare.
Conflict Conversation Guide
When something’s on your mind, it’s tempting to just say it and hope it goes well. This free guide walks you through getting grounded first, asking for the conversation, and saying what matters clearly and kindly. It includes a fill-in script and an example so you can see exactly how it sounds.
Recommended Books
Becoming Cliterate
by Laurie Mintz
Becoming Cliterate challenges everything we’ve been taught about sex and closes the pleasure gap by focusing on how women actually experience arousal and orgasm. Backed by research and practical tools, it helps both women and men create more satisfying, connected sexual experiences.
Come As You Are
by Emily Nagoski
Come as You Are explains how women’s sexuality really works, showing that desire, arousal, and pleasure are shaped more by context, mindset, and individual differences than anything else. Backed by research and real-life application, it gives women the tools to understand their bodies and create more confident, fulfilling sexual experiences.
Come Together
by Emily Nagoski, PhD
Come Together redefines what it means to have a fulfilling sex life in a long-term relationship, shifting the focus from frequency and desire to enjoyment and connection. Blending research with practical tools, it helps couples navigate obstacles like stress, communication, and expectations so they can build lasting, satisfying intimacy.
She Comes First
by Ian Kerner
She Comes First reframes intimacy by putting female pleasure at the center, offering a clear, practical approach to creating more satisfying and connected sexual experiences. With approachable guidance and proven techniques, it helps men better understand women’s bodies and build confidence as attentive, responsive partners.
Passionista
by Ian Kerner
Passionista helps women better understand male desire and pleasure, offering practical insight into what creates lasting attraction and satisfying intimacy. With approachable guidance and real-world techniques, it builds confidence in communication, creativity, and connection in the bedroom.
Women’s Anatomy of Arousal
by Sheri Winston
Women’s Anatomy of Arousal uncovers the full scope of women’s sexual anatomy, helping readers better understand how arousal and pleasure actually work. Blending science with practical guidance, it empowers both women and their partners to create more fulfilling, connected experiences.
Eight Dates
by John Gottman
Eight Dates offers a simple, structured way for couples to deepen their connection through meaningful conversations about the topics that matter most. With guided prompts and research-backed insights, it helps partners build trust, improve communication, and strengthen intimacy at any stage of their relationship.
Getting the Love You Want
by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
Getting the Love You Want helps couples understand the deeper patterns shaping their relationship and offers practical tools to improve communication, resolve conflict, and rebuild connection. Blending psychology with real-life application, it guides partners toward greater intimacy, healing, and a more fulfilling relationship.
Untamed
by Glennon Doyle
A must-read for every woman. Untamed invites women to stop living by others’ expectations and start trusting their own inner voice. Through honest storytelling and reflection, it encourages greater self-awareness, courage, and freedom to create a life that feels fully your own.
Atlas of the Heart
by Brené Brown
Atlas of the Heart gives language to the emotions and experiences that shape our lives, helping us better understand ourselves and connect more deeply with others. Through research and storytelling, it offers practical tools for navigating feelings with clarity, courage, and compassion.
And It Was Very Good: A Latter-day Saint’s Guide to Lovemaking
by Earthly Parents
And It Was Very Good offers a clear, values-centered guide to understanding sexuality within marriage, blending practical education with faith-based perspective. It helps couples communicate openly, build intimacy, and approach their relationship with confidence and intention.
This is one of my recommendations for LDS newlyweds.
Replenish
by Tammy S Hill
Replenish: Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage provides a thoughtful, faith-centered approach to building a fulfilling sexual relationship within marriage. With practical guidance and respectful, accurate information, it helps couples strengthen unity, connection, and joy in their intimacy.
This is one of my recommendations for LDS newlyweds.
Apps
For couples who want to explore and connect but don’t know where to start. All are available on iOS; most have Android equivalents.
Just Between Us
The secure & sexy messaging app designed for one purpose: keeping you connected with your partner. No group chats, no mix-ups, no prying eyes—just private, flirty, and meaningful messages between you and your partner.
Gottman Card Decks
All sorts of questions to ask each other and ideas for new things to try together.
Intimately Us
Robust app from a Christian perspective. Conversation starters, intimacy games, daily challenges, a Sexploration list, bucket list, and articles from sex experts. Also available on Android.
Spark’d – for Married Couples
Spark’d is a free and romantic app for couples to make connection a daily habit!
For more on these apps, listen to Episode 88
Lingerie
Mentionables
All images are model-free so you are not comparing yourself to someone else’s body. Safe for husbands to shop as well. Sizes XS-3X. Beautiful and comfortable enough to sleep in.
Dainty Lace Lingerie
No models, high coverage lingerie that still feels feminine.
CODE: AMANDA for 10% off
Personal Lubricant
Coconu
Natural and organic lubricant. Available in water-based and oil-based formulas.
CODE: AMANDA for 15% off
Evree Intimate Massage Cream
Intimate massage cream that melts into long-lasting, flavored massage oil with lubricating properties when warmed by body heat.
CODE: AMANDA10
Vibrators & Toys
Romantic Blessings
USA and Christian owned store with a wide selection of adult prodcuts in a clean, no-nudity environment.
Oral Sex Helps
Awkward Essentials – Dripstick
The wold’s first after-sex cleanup sponge that removes excess fluid from the vaginal canal.
CODE: COACHAMANDA for 10% off
Novelties
Books to Get in the Mood
These books were recommended by LDS friends. You need to draw your own line on what feels appropriate for you. I have not personally read most of them, so read at your own discretion.
Anything by Deeanne Gist
Clean romance. Bare chests and passionate kissing, nothing more described.
Anything by Marcia Lynn McClure
Clean romance. Bare chests and passionate kissing, nothing more described.
Proper Romance Series
by Multiple authors, multiple eras
Nothing explicit, just enough to get you thinking and feeling.
Courses
Coaching for Teens
from Sidekick to Hero
Coaching and personal development resources for teenagers.
CODE: AMANDALOUDER for 10% off
Sex Ed Reclaimed
from Christian online sex ed
Curriculum to help you talk to your kids about sex confidently. Available for ages 3-4, 7-10, 11-13, and 14-18.
Some links on this page are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend things I personally use or would genuinely suggest to clients.