Blog

As we step into the new year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on our priorities and set intentions for a healthier, more fulfilling connection with our partners. Today, we’re going to explore the importance of prioritizing your sexual relationship in 2024 and share practical tips on how to do that.

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, couples often find themselves neglecting the very foundation of their relationship – intimacy. We have lots of excuses; work commitments, family responsibilities, and societal expectations can create an environment where sexual intimacy is unintentionally pushed to the back burner.  By acknowledging these factors, we can begin to understand why our sexual relationships might be neglected and work towards dismantling these obstacles.

One of the biggest reasons I hear for neglecting the intimate relationship is that we just don’t have time.  People in America are on social media an average of 4 hours a day. We’ve got plenty of time. We’re just prioritizing that easier, cheaper dopamine. If you look at the average amount of time that heterosexual couples report on social activity when they do have sex, it’s around 15 or so minutes. But if we think about the context of how much television we watch per day, how much time we spend on social media, we don’t have to step away from technology too much to make a little bit of time for sex. So part of it is making sex that priority.

By prioritizing your sexual connection, you are investing in the emotional and physical well-being of your partnership. Regular, meaningful sexual interactions foster a sense of closeness, trust, and vulnerability, ultimately strengthening the bond between you and your partner. It’s not just about the act itself but also about the emotional and psychological benefits that come with maintaining a healthy sexual relationship.

When we neglect our sexual relationships, we risk creating emotional distance, resentment, and dissatisfaction. Intimacy is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and when it’s overlooked, the connection between partners can wane. Lack of communication about desires and needs may lead to misunderstandings and unmet expectations, further straining the relationship.  But when we prioritize it, we enhance overall relationship satisfaction, and promote individual well-being. Regular sexual connection has been linked to stress reduction, improved mood, and increased feelings of connection with your partner. By making intimacy a priority, you’re investing in the foundation of a resilient and fulfilling relationship.

So how can we do this?  How can we prioritize our sexual relationship?

1 Communication is key!

Effective communication is the lifeblood of any successful relationship, and when it comes to sexual intimacy, it becomes even more critical. Openly discussing desires, boundaries, and fantasies creates an environment of trust and understanding. Regular check-ins about your sexual relationship can prevent misunderstandings, ensuring that both partners feel heard and valued. Embracing communication as a tool for connection can transform your intimate life.

2 Scheduling sex

In our busy lives, the idea of scheduling sex and intimacy may seem counterintuitive to the spontaneity we often associate with connection. However, setting aside dedicated time for intimacy is a proactive approach to ensure it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. Treat this time as sacred, a commitment to exploring each other’s desires, experimenting with new activities, or simply enjoying each other’s company. Scheduling intimacy is not about stifling passion but rather about prioritizing and protecting it.

3 Explore Sexual Ideas & Fantasies Together

Openly discuss and explore each other’s sexual ideas, desires, and fantasies in a non-judgmental and supportive environment. Be curious with each other about what is appealing and why.  This builds intimacy and ideas to explore together.

4 Experiment with Sensual Activities

Try sensual activities like massage, aromatherapy, or a warm bath together to create a relaxed and intimate atmosphere.

5 Weekend Getaways

Plan occasional weekend getaways to break free from routine and focus on reconnecting with your partner. I talk to my clients about the 2/2/2 rule.  A date night at least every 2 weeks, a night or weekend away at least every 2 months, and a week long getaway at least every 2 years.  Adjust as needed for where you are in your time of life.

6 Read Together

Explore literature on sexuality together, whether it’s educational or erotic fiction, to spark conversation and new ideas.

7 Take a Dance Class

Dancing promotes physical closeness and can be a fun and sensual way to connect with your partner.

8 Create a Romantic Atmosphere

Set the mood with candles, soft music, and dim lighting to enhance the romantic ambiance in your living space.

9 Prioritize Self-Care

Individual well-being contributes to a healthy sexual relationship. Encourage each other to prioritize self-care practices.

10 Technology-Free Time

Designate specific times during the week where you disconnect from technology and focus solely on each other.

11 Share Sexual Goals

Discuss your desires and set mutual sexual goals to work towards, creating a sense of shared purpose.

12 Attend Workshops or Seminars

Participate in workshops. seminars, or retreats on relationships and intimacy to gain new insights and skills. I have just put my 2024 couples retreat up for sale.  My friend Aimee Gianni and I will be hosting it again in Las Vegas, NV September 11-14.  You can go to uplevelcouplesretreat.com to get the information and apply.  The retreat is limited to 10 couples. If you are interested in attending, apply now.

13 Write Love Letters

Express your desires, appreciation, and fantasies through handwritten love letters to each other.

14 Try New Things Together

Experiment with new activities outside of your comfort zones, fostering a sense of shared adventure.

15 Engage in Regular Physical Activity

Exercise not only contributes to overall well-being but can also enhance physical intimacy by boosting confidence and energy levels.

And while we are the subject of prioritizing your sexual relationship, why not also learn to prioritize yourself and your personal growth in 2024.  

In the book “In the Image of our Heavenly Parents” authors McArthur Krishna & Bethany Brady Spalding said  “If we truly believe we are meant to be like our Heavenly Parents then all of us need some serious soul development. Families need to invest time, money, and resources into BOTH husbands and wives development… considering the return on investment being eternal rather than simply monetary.”

Many times we spend time and money investing in the career, education, and development of the husband.  We also invest time and money in the development, talents, and coaching of our children.  Yet how much time and money do we spend on women’s development? The development of our marriage? The development of our intimacy, sexual relationship, and connection?  In order to have a truly intimate marriage, our personal growth as well as growth of the marriage is essential.  And one of the best ways to do that is coaching.  So, I hope you will consider coaching with me in some capacity in 2024.  In my opinion, everyone needs coaching,  I myself have had a coach now for more than 6 years.  As I continue to work on myself, my marriage, my career I always want someone to give me a different perspective and help me see the areas that I need to grow and change, even when it’s uncomfortable.  

All right my friends, don’t forget to call in and tell me about what has been most impactful for you from almost 300 episodes of my podcast.  That number again is 385-424-1032.

And as we move into the New Year remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Stay committed, stay passionate, and stay connected. Happy New Year and we will talk again next week!