Episode 18 – Setting Goals

What do you value? What is the culture of your family? By clearly defining your values and setting goals based on those values, you will be able to align your life and achieve the things you want most.  This episode clearly outlines the way I set goals for myself and my family to reach our dreams.  You can too!

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Show Notes:

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References for this episode:

Wake Up Challenge: AboutProgress.com

Family Culture: 3in30podcast.com

Show Summary:

I grew up in a goal oriented family.  When I was young, my mom worked part time for Franklin Day Planners.  My parents were also big fans of Stephen Covey.  Franklin merged with Covey, and then it was Franklin Covey that my mom worked for.  I think i got my first Franklin Day Planner when I was about 10.  

My parents taught me about how the Franklin Covey day planner worked.  You first determined what your values were, then you set long term goals based around those values.  You broke the long term goals down in to short term goals, and the short term goals got broken down into daily tasks.  Each built upon each other to help you reach those long term goals that coincided with what you personally value.

My dad is also famous (well famous in our little world) for a talk he gives on The Wheel of Balance.  He talks about a wheel made up of 6 different areas

  1. Mental
  2. Social
  3. Physical
  4. Spiritual
  5. Family
  6. Work

He talks about how each of these areas need balance in our lives.  If one of them is missing or one is inflated more that the rest, the wheel won’t turn smoothly.  We get stuck.  So as a youth, I set my values and long term goals based around these 6 areas.  And I still do today.

Because of these goals, I was able to achieve just about anything I set my mind to as a teenager.

For example – I value my testimony of Jesus Christ and His Gospel.  Some of my long-term goals I set when I was a youth was to

  1. Be worthy to enter the temple (for either marriage or before a mission)
  2. To be married in the temple
  3. Read cover to cover and gain a testimony of all 4 sets of scripture (Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and Doctrine & Covenants)
  4. Get my Young Women Medallion
  5. Graduate from Seminary

Then I would break those down into short term goals.

  1. So I would make a goal to read The Book of Mormon by a certain date

Then my daily task was to read so many chapters each day.

Those things fulfilled my “Spiritual” spoke on the wheel. 

Other goals that I had that went along with my values were

  1. Maintain a certain GPA
  2. Go to Brigham Young University
  3. Participate in Swim Team
  4. Sing in the Choir
  5. Save X amount for college
  6. etc.

Now that I am adult, my goals are a little bit different than they were when I was teenager, but my values are still pretty much the same.

I wanted to pass on this same goal oriented life to my children, so In January we did a great family home evening where we set our Family Values and then set some goals in each area that we wanted to work on.  

First we brainstormed a lot of different ideas, and then we voted and narrowed it down to 7 things.

  1. We are service oriented
  2. We are respectful
  3. We are optimistic
  4. We are learners
  5. We are self-reliant
  6. We are adventurous
  7. We are Christ-centered

Under each of these 7 categories we listed a few things that we want to work on as a family.

Some of these things I think we already do well, (like grow a garden, and going to church each week) and some things are things we agreed we need to work on (like being willing to try new foods and take shorter showers).  

I made a 24×36 poster on my computer and had it printed at my local UPS store for about $4 and we hang it on the door between our kitchen and garage so that it is a constant reminder.

(see below)

This is a great exercise to do with your kids and figure what your family values and what goals you have and to figure out the culture of your family.  

A few weeks ago on the 3in30 podcast, Host Rachel Nielsen interviewed  Chamaine Wollenzien of Wandering Families for Episode 40.  Chamaine said that the culture of her family is “We are a hiking family.”  Rachel posed the question “What is your family culture” out to her audience on social media  with a great response.  People responded “We are a reading family”  “We are a snuggling family”  “We are movie watching family”

When I have thought about that question, I have really struggled with it.  Because we are a blended family, I feel like I have one culture when its just me and my kids and I have a different culture when I’m with my husband and his kids.  And when we are all together…I wasn’t really sure.

But then I was able to look back at this exercise we did as a family and I can say that the thing that really brings us together is that “We are a Christ-Centered Family” and that really brought me a lot of peace.

So now that it’s Back To School time again, now is a GREAT time to sit down by yourself or with your family and set some Values, Long Term Goals, Short Terms Goals, and maybe even break it down into daily tasks. 

And Remember, Goals need to be S.M.A.R.T.

SMART is a great acronym for setting goals

S – Specific

M – Measurable

A – Attainable

R – Realistic

T – Time Bound

S – Specific, set goals that are specific.  What is the outcome that you want?  Does it reflect your values? What do you hope to achieve by setting this goal?

M – Measurable – how can you break it down.  Can you evaluate the progress you are making?

A – Attainable, now this goes back to Podcast 15 and Redefining Success.  You need to make goals that you actually have control over.  

R – Realistic – if you make a goal to be able fly of your own accord, it’s probably not very realistic, so make sure they are goals that you can realistically achieve

T – Time Bound – set a time limit.  Set an end.  

Now, I think it is a GREAT idea to not only set some goals that are attainable, but some some goals that REALLY stretch you.   That push your limits.  Maybe that’s a goal to increase your families income by a LOT, or to lose a lot of weight.  Something that is going to be tough.

But also remember that you don’t need to be perfect at this.  And even if your time is up on your goal and you didn’t get all the way there, look back at the PROGRESS you’ve made and how much you were able to achieve by setting the goal, even if you didn’t make it all the way.

As human beings we were not meant to stay stagnant.  We are meant to constantly be growing and learning.  When we get stagnant in our lives, we feel uncomfortable.  And while growth, from setting goals, can also be uncomfortable, that uncomfortability is worth it.

Sometimes, we are afraid to set goals and to stretch ourselves out of fear of failure.  But don’t we automatically fail by not trying?

We will discuss failure more in depth on another episode, but for now I just want you to understand that it’s ok to fail if you are trying.  You can just take that as evidence that what you tried didn’t work and you need to approach it another way.  You don’t need to make it mean anything more than that.  Make it mean something positive.  Don’t make it mean something negative about you.  But not trying it all is automatically failing and not quite achieving everything you wanted means you at least got part of the way there, and you learned and grew in the process and you just have more work to do.

Rachel Hollis has a great practice in that she writes down 10 big goals in a notebook like she has already achieved them.  She writes them down (the same 10 big goals) every single day until she achieves them.  And she says that by writing them down every single day like they are already done, and putting those great vibes out into the universe, they ALWAYS come true.  By focusing on them every single day she is constantly working on them in subtle ways and her goals are always achieved.

Right now my friend Monica Packer from the podcast About Progress is running a 30-day wake up challenge.  Her goal is to wake up by 6:30 every day so that she can be more productive in the day.  She’s broken down that down to what she needs to do at night in order to wake up earlier in the morning, and then what she needs to do in the morning, to make things a little bit easier.  She realizes that she may not be perfect at this, but like her podcast says, its not about perfection, it’s about progress!

So I’d like to challenge you this week to set a goal you want to work on and post it to social media.  Tag me in the post and use the #livefromlovegoals

Then take the time to write those big goals down EVERY SINGLE DAY and let’s see if they come true!

Our family values & goals

My family sat down in January and decided what our family values are and things that we are already doing and can work on as a family.  I created this poster and it hangs on the door between our kitchen and garage as a constant reminder.

 

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