Orgasms are an amazing experience. For most people, they are the most powerful feeling of pleasure available here on earth.  Because they are so amazing, many women want to learn how to have multiple orgasms. So that’s what we are going to be talking about today.

Less than 1% of women are unable to have an orgasm, and that is usually due to spinal cord injuries.  So if you have been unable to have a single orgasm, I would suggest listening to Episode 75, Episode 121, Episode 156, and Episode 241.  All of those discuss how to orgasm and maybe why you aren’t having orgasms.  And after listening to those, if you are still having issues, definitely come into coaching.

But for those of you who have been able to have an orgasm and are looking to maybe enhance the experience or have multiple, this episode is for you.

First, let’s define what I’m talking about when I say multiple orgasms. A person has multiple orgasms when they have several orgasms very close together. Some can have multiple back-to-back with just a few seconds in between and others have to have an orgasm, experience a decline in arousal, become aroused again within minutes, and have another orgasm soon after. For many women, once you have one, it’s easier to have multiple. 

A 2016 study reports that 8% of women said it was “easy” to have multiple orgasms.  Another study in Finland said that 12% of women reported multiple orgasms during their last sexual experience.  A 2017 online study of 1,250 women in the UK found that 70% reported experiencing multiple orgasms at least once.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that how many orgasms a woman can have is endless, but for many that hasn’t been their experience. Men have a refractory period (a time following orgasms when they are no longer sexually responsive) that makes it impossible to become physically aroused. However, although many women lose interest after orgasms, they are usually physically capable of continuing to engage in sexual activity. But, a 2009 study suggests that women may experience a physiological refractory period; it just doesn’t look like a man’s. Out of 174 females in that study, 96% reported that the clitoris became too sensitive to continue sexual activity. So while still physically possible, sex became less appealing and possibly painful.  

In addition to the clitoris becoming too sensitive so that more stimulation is painful, there are also other reasons why many women aren’t multi-orgasmic.  

1. Lack of Knowledge: Many women are not fully aware of their own bodies and what truly arouses them. Without this self-awareness, achieving multiple orgasms can be challenging.

2. Performance Pressure: The pressure to perform or meet certain expectations in the bedroom can be a major roadblock. It’s essential to remember that sex is about pleasure, not performance.

3. Anxiety and Stress: Mental and emotional factors, such as stress and anxiety, can interfere with the ability to relax and fully enjoy the moment, making multiple orgasms more elusive.

4. Physical Factors: Hormonal changes, medications, and physical health issues can also impact a woman’s ability to have multiple orgasms.

So let’s talk about how to overcome these barriers and experience multiple orgasms.

1. Self-Exploration: Start by getting to know your own body. Spend time alone, exploring what feels good, and what arouses you. Masturbation can be a powerful tool for self-discovery.  When you understand your body better, then you can teach and share that with your husband to make your time together more satisfying for both of you.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. The more you can be present in the moment, the easier it becomes to achieve multiple orgasms.  Orgasms require energy, so if you’re exhausted, distracted, or stressed out you’re unlikely to have the energy to reach orgasm, let alone enjoy multiples.

3. Communication: Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial. Let them know about your desires and what feels good to you.  Whether that is using your words, moving their hand, or even sounds, communication is crucial.  And chances are, if you’re exploring multiple orgasms, you’re going to be trying things you’ve never tried before.  So talking about what types of touch, body parts, and positions are OK or off-limits ahead of time is a good idea.

4. Learn about your Pelvic Floor: The pelvic floor muscles play a big role in orgasms.  In fact, an orgasm is basically a series of fast and fluttery muscle contractions.  So make sure you know and understand your pelvic floor muscles and how they work best.  Can you contract and release them?  Think about drawing your vaginal opening up your body toward your belly button.  Then, try contracting these muscles between each orgasm-induced contraction.  Squeezing these muscles can prolong the orgasms and can often help generate multiple.  

5. Get Aroused: I know this may seem obvious, but in order to have multiple orgasms, you need to be highly aroused.  Many women I talk to wonder why they aren’t having orgasms, let alone multiple, and most of the time it is because they haven’t taken the time to get fully aroused.  Arousal takes time, touch, and specific tools that help get you all the way up the staircase of arousal.  

Now, let’s talk about some specific techniques that can help you achieve multiple orgasms:

1. Edging: Edging involves intentionally delaying orgasm. You build up arousal until you are at your orgasmic threshold, stopping just before you go over the edge and back off, bringing that threshold back down.  You build again and back off again.  Doing this over and over can build up sexual tension, leading to more powerful and frequent orgasms.

2. Variety in Stimulation: After you have an orgasm your “normal” way, experiment with different types of stimulation. Different nerve pathways can produce different types of orgasms, so awakening multiple pathways can increase your potential for multiple orgasms.  So, if you normally have an orgasm by stimulating the head of the clitoris, maybe try stimulating the g-spot or your bum for an anal orgasm.  Especially if the head of your clitoris gets sensitive, stimulating different parts of the clitoris and erectile network by stimulating different body parts can work wonders.  Try different techniques, explore your erogenous zones, and incorporate sex toys into your play.

3. Breathing and Visualization: Deep, rhythmic breathing and positive visualization can help you stay in the moment and intensify your orgasms.  Exaggerating your breathing or slowing it down depending on what is needed can change things in your body and arousal.  Make sure you use your imagination and fantasy to help drive it as well.

4. Slow Down: While women often feel that they are short on time and want to just get it over with, this is not usually conducive to a really arousing and multi-orgasmic experience.  Slow sex is good sex.  Really taking your time to build up that arousal is crucial.  And, as discussed earlier, many women do have a bit of a refractory period, so by taking things slow you can accommodate for the refractory period while increasing the chances of multiple orgasms.  A 2016 study suggests that sex lasting longer than 15 minutes increases the chances of multiple orgasms.

The main benefit of multiple orgasms is that they feel good. They can also promote intimacy in a relationship. A healthy sex life offers many health benefits, including:

• stress relief
• lower risk of heart health issues, such as high blood pressure
• improved self-esteem
• better immune health
• better sleep
• reductions in anxiety and depression

There are no risks associated with orgasms, nor with multiple orgasms. However, the specific techniques a person uses to reach orgasm may present some risks. For example, aggressive stimulation may irritate the skin or even cause bruising and other injuries.

If you ever experience pain during sex, that is your body’s way of telling you something isn’t right, so if you have pain, STOP!  Do not push through it. Seek help from your doctor or a pelvic floor physical therapist.

And what if nothing happens? What if you just can’t seem to get there a second time or more?  That’s fine! The point is pleasure and connection.  Don’t get hung up on counting your orgasms.  Just have fun along the way. 

Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Stay committed, stay passionate, and stay connected. Goodbye for now.