So I get asked quite often what a life coach is and why do I need one?  So I just wanted to take some time today to tell you about what I do and why having a life coach is such a great thing.

I think a lot of people think a life coach is some cheesy person who gives you positive affirmations to repeat so you feel better about things.  And maybe some life coaches operate this way, but that is not what I do.

As a  life coach, I can help you get perspective on your life and your mind.  I essentially hold a mirror up and help YOU see where you can make changes in the way you think, feel, and act, so that you get the results you want in your life.

Vikki Brock, a coach whose doctoral dissertation had a major influence on the coaching profession said “Coaching came into existence to fill an unmet need, which coincided with the shift away from a model of psychological illness, and toward the humanistic ideal of wellness.  And growth.”

Coaching is about taking healthy people and helping them make their good lives better.

A life coach is not a substitute for a therapist who will treat mental disorders and diseases.  I don’t sit and explore your past or have you retell painful stories that cause you discomfort.  I help you look at what is happening in your life right now that is causing your pain and discomfort and help you see how you can make changes that will help you suffer less and be happy, confident, empowered, and at peace in your life.  Even if your circumstances don’t change.

I practice what is called “causal coaching.”  A lot of life coaches help their clients by fixing the symptoms of their problem.  It’s the equivalent for treating a broken bone with an over the counter pain reliever.  The pain may be gone for a while but the underlying issue is still there, so its ultimately ineffective.  But if you treat the actual cause of the pain (the broken bone) then you can actually help them feel better for good.  This is what I do.  I help you find the cause of the pain and we work together to fix it.

As a coach, I analyze your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors from an objective vantage point.   I have a different perspective where I can offer suggestions for change and improvement.

So how do I do this?

I work from a Model developed by Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School.  She is absolutely amazing.  I have been studying her work for quite a while now and will actually be getting my certification from her and the Life Coach School in the near future, which I am really excited about.

Anyway – she developed a model that I work from that works for ANY problem!  I will discuss this model more in an upcoming episode.  But from this model I use tools to help people in all areas of their life

• Marriage and other relationships
• Money
• Sex & Intimacy
• Boundaries
• Unconditional Love
• Goals
• Confidence
• Grief
• Parenting
• Weight Loss
• Emotional Maturity
• Processing Emotions

So why do I think everyone needs a life coach?  

Do you remember the first time you saw yourself on video or heard your own voice from a recording?  And you were like “That doesn’t sound like me at all!”  

That’s why you need a life coach!  We see ourselves for who we really are and rarely recognize where we are getting in our own way in life.  

My coach, Jody Moore, says “You can’t read the label from inside the bottle”

And sometimes we may be able to recognize some of those thoughts, beliefs, and patterns, but we don’t necessarily know how to change it.  But I find that most people are unaware of how they are causing their own suffering and pain.  Most people think that their pain or happiness come from their circumstances, which is completely untrue.  If it were true, everyone who experienced the same thing would feel the exact same way.

So that’s why I think EVERYONE needs a life coach.  I do a pretty good job of self-coaching, but there are times where I still don’t see where I am getting in my own way.  And that is when I go to my coach and have her help me see those things.  So I can continue to improve my life and create the life that I want for myself.

So I have chosen to primarily work with people who are struggling in their marriage, who are currently going through a divorce, or who have recently gone through a divorce because I have a lot of experience with that and I’ve been through it myself.  But truly, I can coach anyone on anything.  So if you think you may want to try a life coach out, I encourage you to go to my website amandalouder.com and sign up for a free mini-session with me and I will show you in about 30 minutes what a life coach and further sessions with me can do.  I hope to see you there!