Episode 155 – Vacation Sex

Vacation Sex

Whether you are in a tropical location, exploring a new city, or tucked away somewhere remote, time out of your usual routine is so good for the mind, body, and for your relationship. Today I will share six main reasons I believe a vacation for you and your partner is an important part of your marriage. I will let you in on a few secrets and tell you all about my 2-2-2 rule.  Want to know more? Tune in!

Vacation Sex
Vacation Sex
Vacation Sex

Show Notes:

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References for this episode:  www.health.com

Show Summary:

Having just returned from vacation, I thought today’s topic was quite applicable.

Whether you are in a tropical location, exploring a new city, or tucked away somewhere remote, time out of your usual routine is so good for the mind, body, and for your relationship.

So why is sex so much better on vacation?  I have 6 reasons I want to share with you today.

1. You’re more relaxed.

Stress, especially for women, is an enemy to sex.  I hear from too many women that they have so much on their plates, so many things on their mind, that they can’t relax enough to enjoy sex.  All of their sexual brakes are on.  So being on vacation, away from the stressors of day to day life; work, chores, kids, etc. helps you relax, which of course helps you be in the mood more.  You sexual brakes tend to be off.  

Being relaxed also helps you be more tuned in to your partner rather than be mentally miles away.  You are able to be more present because you aren’t distracted by everything else you have going on.  Holly Richmond, PhD, a Los Angeles-based relationship and sex therapist. “You have this extra space emotionally that you can devote to having fun and being with your partner, which of course makes for better sex.”

2. You have more time

Again, as women, we have so much going on.  We are working all day, either in the home or outside of it, and then we have responsibilities with kids, homework, running everyone to their activities.  By the time you get home, you are just ready to sleep.  And maybe you do actually have sex, but most of the time you were wishing you were asleep instead.

Being on vacation lets you have sex whenever you want and for how long you want.  At home, you have responsibilities and routines.  But on vacation, you don’t have any of that.  You can experiment with having sex at different times of the day and do what feels right instead of pushing it always into the evening.  You can have sex in the morning, when testosterone peaks.  You can have sex in the afternoon when you’ve relaxed and feel energized. And of course you can have sex at night too.

3. A new environment is exciting

Novelty is a key to great sex.  So when you go on vacation, even if it’s someplace you’ve been before, your surroundings are different, you feel different, things are different from your normal life.  So just by bringing all of the novelty into the sexual experience can heighten things and make sex more exciting.

While you are on vacation, take advantage of the novelty your surroundings have to offer.  Maybe an outdoor shower or a balcony shielded from public view.  Getting sexy in new places and spaces will force you to get creative, which also adds to the fun and excitement.

4. You’re feeling adventurous

When you’re in a new place, you automatically feel a sense of adventure.  You’re seeing new things, eating new foods, hearing new languages or ways of speaking.  It’s no wonder your desire to explore carries over into the bedroom.  Vacations are the perfect time to try something new in bed.  Whether it’s a new position, a new toy, a new outfit, or a new type of sex, your sense of adventure will carry over.  

5. You feel closer to your partner

When you are traveling with your partner, accomplishing a simple task (even just navigating a new airport) can help you feel closer to them.  Vacations where you are trying something new can bring you closer together and help you feel even more connected.  And of course, the more connected you feel, the more likely you’ll have closer, more meaningful sex.

6. You dress to impress

Do you ever buy a new outfit, a new swimsuit, or maybe some new lingerie when you go on vacation?  We don’t normally bring our old, comfy clothes on a trip.  We usually try to turn it up, wear something new.  And sure, appearances aren’t everything, but it doesn’t hurt when you see your spouse looking their best during your vacation.

The visual of appeal of a new outfit goes both ways.  You feel good wearing it and they love seeing you in it.  Wear the lingerie under your clothes, out to dinner.  This is just an extension of your foreplay and then it’s easier to carry things over into sexy time when you get back to your room.

One thing I do want to mention is that you need to make sure there isn’t pressure to perform.  Many times the higher desire partner expects non-stop sex while on vacation, which puts pressure on the lower-desire partner…which leads to less sex and more disappointment.  You both need to be on the same page and in a good place in your relationship.

I love the 2/2/2 rule when it comes to vacations.  You need a date night every 2 weeks.  A night or a weekend away every 2 months.  And a week away every 2 years.  Now, if you can do more than that, GREAT!  And of course there are times where money is tight or you’ve got nursing babies that you might have to make adjustments.  But don’t let this part of your relationship go.  The nights away are so important!  It will help you both feel more relaxed, connected, and have a better sexual relationship overall.

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