I am so excited to have Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Author, Laura Brotherson join me on the podcast this week. So much of what I have learned has been from Laura. We will be answering the question of what exactly auditory arousal is and ways to access it. Most importantly, we will discuss the benefits that take place with verbal communication during sex.
Simple words or phrases during lovemaking can bring in an entirely different dimension to your experience with your spouse. Learn how this can keep your busy and distracted brain engaged.
These small auditory sounds or words in the bedroom may take your sexual experience to a whole new level.
So let’s do this.
Show Notes:
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References for this episode:
Laura M. Brotherson, LMFT, CST, CFLE
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Therapist (CST), Laura M. Brotherson is the founder of The Marital Intimacy Institute with a mission to help couples create “sextraordinary” marriages. She counsels with individuals, couples and families in private practice (and online) and is passionate about helping couples navigate the intricacies of intimacy—specializing in healthy sexuality, sex therapy, and sex addiction.
Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as the author of the best-selling books, And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment, Knowing HER Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage, and her latest book From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage.
As a Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE), Laura is also actively engaged in providing marriage education through Couples Cruises, articles, newsletters, radio and television broadcasts, “The Marital Intimacy Show” podcast, and presenting at conferences and workshops. Laura is a regular contributor to the KSL Television “Studio 5” morning show. She and her husband, Kevin, have been married 29 years, have three grown children and are the founders of StrengtheningMarriage.com — your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages… intimately!
Show Summary:
In this episode, we will be answering the question of what is Auditory Arousal and ways to access it. Most importantly, we will discuss the benefits that happen with verbal communication during sex.
Auditory arousal are verbal expressions of arousal and pleasure that can help with focus, foreplay and confidence. When auditory arousal is accessed, you are adding another dimension to your sexual experience. It is one area that Laura sees most couples are ignoring, avoiding and simply not utilizing. Simple words or phrases during lovemaking can bring in an entirely different element to enhance your experience with your spouse.
There are six areas of self, and the area we are neglecting is our sexual self.
We are good at physical and tactil dimensions, but we don’t add in any portion of verbalization. It is completely silent. We do not understand that we are underutilizing a very powerful tool for connection and stimulation. Women especially have a difficult time staying in bed mentally. Our minds are all over the place. Just a small amount of verbal communication can keep us mentally in place.
Laura has seen 12 benefits she believes are possible with even the slightest amount of auditory arousal. This can range from increased focus to increase in sexual self confidence. It is so much easier to keep a sexual rhythm between partners when there is auditory feedback. One partner doesn’t leap ahead of the other when this takes place. This can take place whether you are verbalizing at a Level 1 or a Level 4 listed below.
- This is a good place to start. This is a verbal sound of “aaaahhh” or “mmm.” No words.
- I love it when you ________________. Just fill in the blank during sex.
- Role Play. This is a great way to achieve you and your spouse’s fantasies.
- Naughty Talk.
If your initial thought is that this is inappropriate, it’s ok. The beauty of this, is that you get to choose a level where you are comfortable and your spouse gets to do the same. There is a reserved and sacred space of arousal for husband and wife alone. In this state of arousal, things can be said that would be inappropriate otherwise.
God developed our bodies – and this place of arousal.
And it has been designed for good.
So He might be one to have a conversation with concerning your sexual relationship. He will help you keep a healthy balance of unnecessary inhibitors and those things that are truly inappropriate. In that conversation, discuss what is OK for you and your spouse and what is not.
But start somewhere.
These small auditory sounds or words in the bedroom may take your sexual experience to a whole new level.
Next week we will be doing a giveaway for two of our lucky followers. So tune in to my social media accounts on Monday morning to see how to register for the drawing,
Do you know of any books that give specific words and suggestions to say in the bedroom to help things heat up? I’ve always tried to stay away from “naughty” talk before I was married, but I do think it’s completely appropriate with your spouse, I’m just not sure how to do it.
I’m pretty sure Laura Brotherson’s book Knowing Her Intimately has ideas. But I would say, say what feels natural and good to you! You don’t want to say things that aren’t authentic or else it comes off weird. But being you, that’s what truly romantic and makes it hot!