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Wow…we are here.  Episode 300.  I can’t believe it.  300 Episodes.  300 weeks of content.  300 weeks of writing.  300 weeks of stretching myself.  300 weeks of connecting with you. 300 weeks educating you.  300 weeks of hopefully helping you develop a better relationship with yourself.  300 weeks of helping you develop a better relationship with your spouse.  300 weeks of helping you develop a better relationship with your sexuality.  Thank you.  Thank you if you’ve been with me almost the entire time.  Thank you if you are joining me for the first time.  It’s such a privilege being let into your life, into your time, into your ear buds.  I feel so honored.  

When I started this podcast almost 6 years ago, I really struggled to imagine what it would be like doing 100 episodes, let alone 300.  I remember when I switched my niche to sex and a friend was said to me “do you really think you can do a podcast week after week about sex?” And I said “Yes!” And really…I rarely struggle coming up with a topic.  There is so much that I can talk about when it comes to sex.  Because sex not only encompasses that act itself (which I can talk about lots of different aspects of) but also encompasses our relationship with ourselves and the intimacy that we have with ourselves as well as our relationship with our spouse and how to build intimacy there.  So, there have been 300 episodes so far and I am just getting started.

So I asked people to call in and leave me a message or write me a text about episodes that have been particularly impactful for them.  Thank you to those of you who took the time to do that. I’m going to be sharing just a few that I received but I truly appreciated all of the calls and texts.

Ok, here we go….

Call 1: Hi Amanda at the beginning of 2023 after 22 years of marriage, although we still deeply loved one another, our emotional and physical intimacy was suffering due to mental health challenges and the many distractions of life. Finding and listening to your podcast is one of the many tools that we’ve used to turn that around.  Now at the end of 2023 our intimacy is so much better on all levels. In fact, it’s the strongest it’s ever been. We feel closer and more connected than we have in the prior 22 years. And now my wife is signed up to attend your Embrace You retreat this coming February and is so excited. Thank you for the work you’re doing you’re changing lives and healing hearts.

Thank you so much for your call.  It always warms my heart to hear that things have changed just from listening.  It really shows the power in having more education and being able to change your mindset about things.

Call 2: Hi Amanda. Just wanted to call in and leave you a message. Congratulations on making it to episode 300 and thank you so much for your podcast. There have been several that have been really helpful, but I’ll just mention the latest one that I listen to 298. So, thank you so much, and please keep up the good work. Bye.

Thank you so much for mentioning Episode 298, which was my recent podcast on How To Have Anal Sex Safely.  This one was mentioned in quite a few calls.  I’m sure it was on the mind of many the last couple of weeks, especially since it’s not something we talk about very often.

Call 3: Your podcast has inspired me to look beyond the natural ways. I do things to look at things from a different perspective and to kind of push boundaries but in a healthy way while still staying collaborative with my spouse.

Thank you for that message.  I love that you are trying to move beyond the things that you have been taught in the past but realizing that it’s so important to be collaborative with your spouse in the ways that you move forward.  A lot of times I get on consultations or get an email from someone that feels like their eyes have been opened and they want to move forward in a new direction but their spouse isn’t on board.  And there often becomes an air of “well I know better than you” which doesn’t help the situation.  In fact, I have had quite a few consultations with reluctant wives (usually) who really didn’t want to talk to me because they’d heard my name so much from their spouse.  “Well Amanda Louder says this…” and “Amanda Louder says that….” Which doesn’t help the situation.  Collaboration is about moving forward in a way that honors both people wants and desires.  Just because you listen to my podcast and maybe have more information doesn’t mean your spouse is ready to hear it or change.  And that’s ok.  They don’t need to.  This is why I always say that you need to focus on what you can control…which is only yourself.  Quit worrying about what your spouse is or isn’t doing and focus on you being your best self.  And your best self isn’t trying to convince or control your spouse into agreeing with you (or me for that matter.)

Call 4: Hi, this is Heather from New Mexico. I wanted to just thank Amanda for everything I’ve learned over the last couple of years but specifically state that my journey really was most impacted by the beginning, or I guess why I got into this, was because of episode 171 an interview with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. I think it was called equality in marriage. And I had listened to a few episodes prior to that before getting into any coaching and before really discovering if Amanda’s content was what I needed, but once I listen to that I couldn’t just listen to the whole thing all the way through I had to keep stopping and thinking and pondering on the different points being brought up in the interview because it was so powerful and impactful for me. I listened to that episode probably six times in a row before I could move on to any other content and it changed my life because it changed my perspective on intimacy and marriage and how I could better improve my relationship with my spouse which I was desperately needing. Not that we had any major problems, but internally, I mean we have been through a lot of problems, but I just needed that message. And that kicked off what has been an incredibly  tough but also incredibly amazing journey of self-discovery and of helping me improve my marriage. I’m so so grateful that I’ve been on board with this for the last, I guess two and a half years now. So thank you to Amanda for all of the content for the pot not only the podcast episodes but also in the membership. Being able to listen, to be in on coaching calls and listen to the recordings of other people’s calls, because it really is from listening to other people’s stories that I’ve gained so much knowledge, information, and growth because I see how all these principles apply in different situations and scenarios. So that’s been my experience and I’m extremely grateful.

Thank you so much Heather.  I love that Episode 171 on Equality in Marriage with Dr. Finlayson-Fife was so helpful for you.  And I love that you mentioned coaching and the membership as well.  So many times we listen to podcasts and learn the material, but it is through coaching that we actually learn how to apply the material in ways that are true and authentic to each of us and move us forward faster.

Call 5: Hi Amanda. So a podcast episode that was pretty impactful for me was the episode called Sexual Responsibility for Those with Responsive Desire. And in that podcast, you mentioned that sometimes we feel guilt over something we see, watch, listen to often because it’s supposedly wrong, or maybe it involves the person who is not your spouse, even though it helps get you going and creates that desire and brings you closer to your partner and you know create a positive result in your marriage.  And you mentioned to ask yourself  “Is it something that is actually out of your value system, even if it brings the two of you closer or you just feeling guilt because that’s what you think you should be feeling.” And I personally feel that ever since I really reflected on that and applied this concept in my own marriage things have improved in my sex life. So I really appreciate that Amanda and I thank you for that perspective that I don’t think others boldly say especially in the faith space. So thank you for that and congratulations on episode 300.

Thank you for that message.  The episode she is referring to is another recent Episode.  Episode #296.  Guilt is something I’ve talked about a few times here on the podcast.  Episode #273 on Sexual Conditioning Guilt talks about this same topic but in more detail.

Call 6: Hey Amanda, this is Paula from Norman Oklahoma, and I was trying to leave you a message explaining that I really enjoy your podcast. I’m going to throw out like 3 podcast numbers that I feel like really helped me in my spouse of 30, almost 35 years. That would be number 248 number 257 and number 299 we listen to that this weekend and we’ll go back and re listen to it so that we can make sure we take notes and using the opportunities that you provide on your podcast to the utmost. So, thank you so much for magnifying your skills and letting us all try to be our better selves. Have a great day.

Thank you so much Paula.  The episodes she is mentioning here are 

#248 – Is Public Nudity Ok, which was actually removed because I got so much backlash from it.  But I’ve heard from others that it was also really helpful and I’m glad it was helpful for you and your spouse.

#257 – How Style Helps Your Confidence in the Bedroom – An Interview with Sheri Brasier.  That was a fun one!

#299 – Focus On The Journey, Not The Destination

Call 7: Hi. I just wanted to call in response to your Instagram story. I just wanted to say that I listened to one of your podcast about anal and then my husband and I were able to try it and we’ve done it. After I listen to it, we probably did it like 20 times over the span of like maybe three or four or five months. And we haven’t done it as much anymore. I need to go back and listen to it again, because I want to do it again, but basically your podcast helped so much. It taught me about like relaxing and how it can actually feel good and So whatever we tried it, I took a lot of deep breaths. And that was huge. There were points where it didn’t even hurt and then like even took it a step further and was like trying to teach my friends what I learned from your podcast so that they could try it. It was just so amazing because I think there’s a lot of stigma when you’re a Christian woman about trying things like that and your podcast showed me that it can be amazing for everyone if that’s something you want to try and I just I’m so thankful. I’ve learned so much from you. And it has made my sex life so amazing. So thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Bye-bye.

Love hearing that.  Thank you for your call.  I’m guessing she is referring to my first episode on Anal Sex, #112.  So if you haven’t listened to that episode, make sure you go back in the archives and give it a listen.

I got a really great call from someone in the UK, but unfortunately the quality of the call wasn’t great.  So I am going to do my best to interpret her message and read it to you because it was so lovely.  She said: 

Hi Amanda – Your podcast has been life changing for me and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to tell your listeners about all my favorite episodes, especially the ones that clear up misconceptions in church culture. 

I did everything right.  Standards.  Callings. Studying my scriptures, etc. and I fully repressed my sexuality because I thought it was dirty and wrong.  From your podcast I’ve been able to learn all the things I wish I’d learned before I got married. When I got married I had never seen male nudity, sex was physically painful, and I had too much shame to get help. I struggled horribly for 8 years and there was a lot of duty sex.  

When I found your podcast, Amanda, it was like a lightbulb moment. I felt instantly that the way you relate to sexuality was the way I wanted to relate to my sexuality. I binged all of your episodes and I saved all of my favorite moments from your transcripts.  The episodes have changed my mindset and I can now have open communication between me and my husband. 

So my favorites are Episode 78 on Guilt, Shame, and Eroticism.  You shared a quote by Jennifer Finlayson-Fife that said “We believe the body is necessary for our spiritual progression and development.  So, sexuality by extension, is not an impediment to spirituality but a fundamental part of it.”

Anything you’ve said about overcoming sexual dysfunction has also been incredibly helpful because that has been some of my biggest problems.  

Episode 123 – Increasing Your Libido.  You gave a link to a sexy playlist that I listened to and it helped turn me on and helped me stay in a helpful mindset.

Episode 134 – Masturbation and the Church – This one was super helpful. I feel more prepared to talk to my children about this topic.

Episode 150 – The Maltz Hiearchy of Sexual Interaction. You talked about different levels of sexual interaction and about fulfillment from making love and authentic sexual intimacy. 

I also loved listening to Episode 159 – 4 Keys Ways to Healthy, Passionate Marriage. 

Another episode that is fantastic for talking to kids about sex is Episode 216 – CFM: Why is Chastity Important to God’s Plan? I was able to use this to teach it in my ward.

Episode 237 – Modesty & The For Strength of Youth.  This topic was just wonderful. 

I’d like to thank you again for what you do.  I look forward to the podcast every week.

Wow! Thank you so much for that message.  You touched on so many good episodes.  

In addition to voicemails, I also got a couple of messages I wanted to read.

The first is from Steve Riggs – He said “I love your podcast. I don’t imagine you have a lot of men say that to you, but I appreciate your authenticity, your boldness and your consistency in what you share and teach about sex and intimacy. It has opened up my heart and mind to more than I ever could have imagined. My marriage is better, my sex life is better, but most of all my relationship to myself and my sexuality is better than it ever has been in my life. I lived for years in a crippling guilt/shame cycle and your podcast opened the door to freedom. I am by no means perfect and at times I still find myself dealing with old patterns of thinking, but I am far and wide better and happier than I used to be.”

Thank you Steve.  I actually have a lot of men who listen and find it helpful in understanding their wife and the relationship better.  Thank you so much for your message.

And the last one from Elaine.  She said “The podcast that changed my life & my relationship with my husband was Jeff & Joy. Their story brought one last thread of hope for the relationship dynamic my husband and I were in. I contacted Amanda & determined to give her coaching a chance to make a difference and it totally did. Working with her changed everything. I knew I wanted a differentiated relationship, and she taught me how to create that. Our relationship is better than it ever was before I listened to Jeff & Joy’s story.”

Thank you Elaine.  That was Episode 103.

I want to thank everyone who called in or wrote messages.  Those that I aired and those I didn’t.  I truly appreciate all of them.  If you didn’t get a chance to write in before, the best way to show me your gratitude and appreciation is to leave me a review in your podcast app.  That way more people can find it.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode and all of the other episodes.  Here’s to even more episodes to help you strengthen your relationship with yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.  Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Stay committed, stay passionate, and stay connected. Goodbye for now.