keeping score in marriage Archives - Amanda Louder Coaching

Episode 442 – Why Keeping Score Never Gets You What You Want

Post published:October 9, 2026

Most of us keep score in our marriages without ever calling it that. We track who got up with the baby, who apologized first, how many times we reached over…

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Sex for Saints

As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life!

In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.

Most of us keep score in our marriages without ever calling it that. We track who got up with the baby, who apologized first, how many times we reached over and got turned down. It starts as a way to get something to change, and it ends up making sure nothing does. In this episode I talk about what scorekeeping actually is, what it looks like around the house and in the bedroom, and why your count is almost always wrong. We look at the research on why you cannot see most of what your spouse contributes, how confirmation bias keeps a wrong count feeling accurate, the two places resentment comes from, and the over functioning and under functioning pattern sitting underneath a lot of this. Then we talk about what it takes to move a marriage back from transactional to an equal partnership.

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Episode 442 – Why Keeping Score Never Gets You What You Want

October 9, 2026

Episode 441 – Bait and Switch

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