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Just before the world shut down last year I had the opportunity to attend a sexual education event where I first heard Stephanie Sorensen speak on the connection between the voice and the vagina.  I was fascinated by her topic and was furiously taking notes. 

Stephanie is a mother with 4 children, a doula, a yoga instructor, a childbirth educator and mentor. She is the founder of Bhava Birth, a yoga and meditation-based childbirth education course.  Above all else in the birth experience, Stephanie values sovereignty, consent and whole body attunement.

The first thing Stephanie teaches is that there are two main areas where the vagina and your voice have a connection. They share a very intimate bond.  First, both are instruments of expressions and allow passage from our inner world to our outer world and the other way around.  The second is that they both carry very strong appetites.  So when one of the areas is shut down, it is most likely that the other is as well.  She uses the upstream/downstream metaphor. Whatever happens upstream tends to travel downstream, just like in a riverbed.  You almost cannot separate that flow.

Beyond the metaphorical, we have physiological connections as well.  I am a big proponent that when we don’t speak our truth or limit our voice it shuts down our sexuality.  

Stephanie has a vast amount of knowledge on our facia, the vagus nerve and the DFL (deep front line) and how they run from the mouth and neck into the pelvic floor.  What this translates into is that if you are stressed about laundry on the floor or dishes in the sink, the tension that is being tightly held in the jaw and neck travels all the way down to the vagina.  So in order to respond sexually you need to do some work to release that pressure.  If the jaw is tight – it is most likely the vagina is too.

She shares her expertise in childbirth and how she can help women giving birth learn to unlock the tension.  If they can figure that out – it will help them in every aspect of their lives. . .especially the bedroom.

Your ability to express sexually is closely related to  your vocal expressions. Therefore, your subconscious fears will affect your lovemaking.  Women believe they aren’t supposed to be loud, bold or audacious – so they hold back.  This hurts them in childbirth and also sexually.  There is more on this topic on Podcast # 119  Auditory Arousal.  It’s time to let go of how we are “supposed to” express ourselves.

We need to own up to who we are – who we are supposed to become.  Finding your voice is a step towards advocacy.  It is how you learn to stand on your own.  It is how you can make informed decisions.  It will help you confront stressful or challenging situations. You cannot reach your full sexual potential without first discovering your voice,  It will help you ask for what you want.  You can say yes when you want to – you can also say no.  You will have the capacity to communicate as an equal partner and you can express yourself in pleasure.

These two working hand in hand is the culminating effect of having a better relationship in the bedroom.

If you want to contact or work with Stephanie.  She can be found at: https://birthcircle.com/