Episode 444 – The Difference Between Being Wanted and Being Loved
The spouse who wants sex more often tends to believe that all of the effort, the helping, the compliments, the constant attentiveness, is love. Usually it isn't. In this episode…
Episode 443 – Do Men Just Want Sex for Pleasure?
Most of us were handed the same story about men and sex, that it is mostly about physical release and not much else. When researchers stopped assuming and actually asked…
Episode 442 – Why Keeping Score Never Gets You What You Want
Most of us keep score in our marriages without ever calling it that. We track who got up with the baby, who apologized first, how many times we reached over…
Episode 441 – Bait and Switch
Somewhere along the way, a lot of married couples stop really kissing. It turns into a quick peck at the door, or it only shows up as the first step…
Episode 440 – Why Couples Stop Kissing and How to Revive It
Somewhere along the way, a lot of married couples stop really kissing. It turns into a quick peck at the door, or it only shows up as the first step…
Episode 439 – Why the Changes You Make Never Last
Most couples who come to me have already tried. They have read the books, taken the courses, sat with a therapist, and walked out with a plan they both believed…
Episode 438 – The Art of Receiving: Why It’s So Hard and Why It Matters
Many conversations about improving your sex life focus on what men can do differently. But there's another side that rarely gets talked about: women who can't receive. In this episode,…
Episode 437 – Six Patterns That End Marriages
After thousands of hours on Zoom with couples, I can usually tell by the second or third conversation which marriages are going to make it. It has almost nothing to…
Episode 436 – The Seven Deadly Sins in Your Marriage
Most of us have heard of the seven deadly sins, but I'd never heard them reframed quite like this. In this episode, I dig into Elizabeth Oldfield's idea that these…
Episode 435 – The Paradoxes Running Your Sex Life
Most of the fights in your marriage aren't problems to solve. They're paradoxes, and we get stuck the moment we try to pick a side instead of accepting both. In…
Episode 434 – Emotional Safety: The Foundation Your Marriage and Sex Life Are Built On
What if the problem in your sex life isn’t really about sex at all? In this episode, I’m talking about emotional safety and the powerful role it plays in both…
Episode 433 – Arousal Without an Agenda
Have you ever stopped yourself from feeling close to your spouse because you were worried about where it might lead? In this episode, I explore why arousal, or what the…
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